Rachel's First Time
by leobrat
Summary: Rachel tells Monica and Phoebe about her first time...(R/J)


Disclaimer: I do not own, or have _any_ affiliation with the characters or cast of _Friends_. (You can bet your bottom dollar I'd be a whole lot richer and happier if I did.) I would like to say this, though...Joey and Rachel? That was _my _idea. I've thought that they should be together since the first season, and didn't just jump on the bandwagon in January! So I'll take credit for that one! (Just kidding, writers of _Friends_, if by any chance you're reading this, know that I totally and completely respect your work and think you're all comic geniuses.)

It was a rainy Saturday afternoon. Rachel stroked her swollen belly as she felt her daughter kick. Phoebe handed her a cup of coffee and sat down next to her on Monica and Chandler's couch. They were watching some sappy love movie on tv and waiting for Monica to get off the phone with her cousin. They guys had gone out, to a Knicks' game and then to get something to eat.

Finally Monica got off the phone and plopped down in the chair. "You know who that was? My little cousin, Stephanie. Guess what she just told me."

"What?" Phoebe asked.

"She told me she lost her virginity last night."

"You're kidding!" Rachel said, sounding genuinely surprised. "Oh God, how old is she? She can't be any more than like, what, fourteen?"

"No!" Monica exclaimed. "You just haven't seen her in a while. No, she's almost nineteen. But I still can't believe it. I mean, she's my little cousin, you know? It's hard to believe she's growing up."

"Well, I hope she had a good experience. I mean, what girl does?" Phoebe said with a laugh and Monica joined her, but Rachel just had a rueful smile.

"You know, I had a pretty _good_ experience," she said casually.

"What, weren't you with Chip?" Monica asked curiously.

"No, it was after me and Chip broke up, my freshman year of college. You see there was this guy one night at a Sigma Chi party. His name was Matt. And you know what? I actually told him my name was Jennifer."

"Why would you do that?" Phoebe asked, surprised.

"I don't know. Because I knew he didn't go to school with me, and I kind of just felt like being someone else for the night."

"So, let me get this straight," Monica said, switching off the tv and flipping around to face the other two women on the couch, "The guy you lost your virginity to, you had never met before, you never saw him again. Did you even know his last name?" Rachel shook her head. "You didn't even know his last name, you didn't tell him your real name. How is this a good experience?"

Rachel shrugged, a faraway look in her eyes. "It just was..."

* * *

Eighteen-year-old Rachel Green sobbed uncontrollably on her bed. How could he do this to her? They were supposed to last forever. Now after saving herself for four years through high school, Chip dumped her for Jennifer McBride. She was like three years older than him! What could she possibly want with Chip? That slut, Rachel knew she only wanted his money and the benefits of his father's country club. 

To top it all off, he told her this while she was getting ready for him to come down for the weekend. She was actually going to give it to him this weekend, what her best friend Monica called, her flower. She had spent a month in college, a month where she stayed in on weekends and refused to talk to boys because she loved Chip and she thought he loved her, too. Now she realized it had all been a waste.

She picked up the phone and called Monica, who was going to culinary school upstate. She picked up on the third ring. "Hello?"

"Mon?" Rachel tried to gulp down her tears, but couldn't hold back and told her friend the whole story in between huge gasping sobs.

"Oh Rach, that's awful," Monica said sympathetically. "Man, that jerk! And after you were gonna give him your flower, too!"

Rachel managed to laugh at the way her friend still referred to sex. "Oh Mon, you're great. Thanks for listening to me."

"Oh, any time, sweetie, you know that. But you should go out tonight. Forget about him! Have a good time!"

"I know I should, and the sorority I'm rushing is having a party tonight. All right, yeah, I'll go. What are you doing tonight?"

Monica giggled. "I've got a date. With a soccer player. He's from Italy." She said the last part with a little squeal. Monica had been pretty heavy in high school and she had lost a considerable amount of weight during their senior year. Now that she was in college, she was pretty popular with the boys and Rachel was proud of her.

"All right, well have fun tonight," Rachel said. "Bye Mon."

"Bye Rach."

Hanging up the phone, Rachel opened her closet and looked at the short black miniskirt and soft white angora sweater with a deep v-neck that she had planned to wear out with Chip tonight. It was sexy but still classy and feminine. She peeked in the Victoria's Secret bag on the floor. It contained a lacy white thong and matching bra. That was supposed to complete the outfit. She laid all the clothes out on her bed, and decided she would wear them tonight anyway. She had made up her mind that tonight she was going to live it up and find a man. She would show Chip, she would show him real good.

Twenty-one-year-old Joey Tribbiani glanced at the clock of the pizzeria where he worked. It was nearly ten o'clock, when his shift got over. He was tired tonight, and he was looking forward to just going home and going to bed. That was unusual for him. Joey was normally out on the prowl on Friday nights, looking for a girl, or maybe even two.

The bell over the door rang, signifying someone coming into the restaurant, and Joey ducked under the counter, happy to see not a customer but his friend Vinny DeMarco. "Hey Vin, what's going on?"

Vinny leaned against the counter towards Joey, a conspiratorial smile on his face. "Joey, you got to do me a favor. You got to come to Wagner College with me tonight."

Joey groaned. "That's way out on Long Island. It'll take at least an hour. What are we going there for?"

"Melanie's sorority is having a party tonight and she really wants me to come."

"So go. What do you need me for?"

"Come on Joe, I don't want to drive out there by myself. There's gonna be, like, fifty gorgeous girls there, and I'm sure they're sick of seeing the same old college guys. Besides, when's the last time you went out? You've been in this funk all week." That was a sore spot with Joey. Last week, his girl-of-the-moment, Andrea Petrizelli, had dumped him for this broker from Manhattan, Matthew Spencer. She hadn't meant a whole lot to Joey, but he wasn't used to being rejected, and his ego was taking it pretty hard.

"All right, I'll go," Joey grumbled. "But we're not gonna get there until like midnight. I've got to shower after I get out of here, I stink. And I can't go home until ten."

"You-a go home right now!" The boys looked up in surprise as Mr. Carbone, the old owner of the pizzeria stepped behind the corner. His Sicilian accent was still thick, even though he had moved to this country thirty years ago. "Joe, you-a work too hard. You nice boy, go out and-a have fun."

"Really, Mr. Carbone?"

"Yes, go, go, go now, before I change-a my mind." Joey didn't need to be told again. He was out the door, and within forty-five minutes, on the Long Island Express.

Rachel was starting to feel a little buzz as she danced with some guy at the party that night. he was on the football team and very popular, but Rachel just wanted the song to be over so she could go get some fresh air.

"So what's your major?" he screamed over the music. Rachel just pretended not to hear him, and he walked off, offended. That had been her plan.

She went back into the kitchen, where she found some of her older sorority sisters doing shots. As a pledge sister, they insisted Rachel do three. If she had been buzzed before, she was definitely drunk now. She managed to get outside, stumbling only a little bit. Once she was out there, she plopped down on the porch swing.

Tonight hadn't been a total waste. She'd had fun with her sisters, and danced with enough guys to prove to herself that she was still desirable. But...it was still on her mind that Chip had Jennifer, and she had no one.

Joey headed outside for some fresh air. Tonight had been a total waste. Vinny had gone off with Melanie the second they got there, and all the girls at the party were stuck-up, Long Island snobs. He had a couple of beers in him, which was the only reason he was still sane. He had gone home, rushed to get ready and driven ninety down the highway for this?

He thought he had seen a porch swing when they first came into the house and he walked along the wraparound porch looking for it, for any place to sit 

Finally, coming up on it, he startled himself by seeing someone already sitting there, a girl. She jumped a little when she heard his footsteps as if she, too, was startled by someone else being there. She looked up at Joey then, with the bluest eyes he'd ever seen.

"Oh, I didn't expect anyone else to be here," Rachel stammered, looking up at the guy she didn't recognize. He definitely wasn't one of the frat boys, and Rachel didn't even think he went to Wagner. She would have noticed him. He was very handsome, tall and dark, with lips that looked like you could set up railway tracks on them. "Um, I mean, hi."

"Hi," he replied. "Do you mind if I sit down?"

"No, go right ahead," Rachel felt a little flutter in her stomach when he smiled at her. "it was just getting some fresh air."

Joey quickly glanced at the girl up and down. She had amazing legs and her sweater was showing just a hint of cleavage, but he couldn't stop staring at her eyes. "What's your name, sweetheart?"

Rachel's heart fluttered at the endearment. "It's...Jennifer." She couldn't believe what she'd said the moment it slipped out. But for some reason, it felt right.

"Hi Jennifer. I'm Matt." What was he thinking? Why didn't he just say his real name? _It just felt right_, Joey reasoned with himself.

An hour passed as the party raged on inside, but Joey and Rachel talked quietly, in their own, intimate world of the porch swing.

"So what brought you out here tonight, Matt?" She sipped her drink more slowly now, as it was really going to her head.

"One of my friends wanted to go visit his girlfriend, Melanie Stanza."

"Oh, Melanie's my big sister!" Rachel exclaimed. Joey's eyes widened, but then he realized she was talking about her sorority sister. His 'cover' was still safe.  


"Well Jennifer, I have to ask you something, now. How come you're out here all alone? What, are you hiding from all the guys inside that are chasing you all around tonight?" At her sad smile, Joey knew he had touched a nerve. To his surprise, tears brimmed in her eyes, blurring their brilliant blue. "Hey what's wrong?" He reached out and took her hand, rubbing her fingers reassuringly. "Is it some other guy?" She nodded wordlessly. "Your boyfriend?"

She shook her head no. "No, not any more anyway. You see, he broke up with me today, for some tramp. He didn't even have the decency to do it in person. And the worst part is, this weekend, I was going to...I was going to...well, this weekend was supposed to be special."

Joey drew his arm around her shoulders and held her close. _Poor girl, what dumb ass would let her go?_ "Did you love him?"

"What?"

Joey faced her and brushed her tears away with his thumb. "Did you love him? Because the way it sounds, he doesn't deserve love from a girl like you."

Rachel thought for a minute. "You know what? I didn't. I stayed with him all through high school and I didn't even love him I just stayed with him, because he was popular, and my parents liked him, and all my friends were jealous. I could have had someone else. Pretty pathetic, huh?"

"No, baby, no," Joey cooed, cradling her head in the crook of his shoulder, as she cried softly. "He's pathetic. For not seeing what he's got here."

He pulled back, cupping her beautiful face in his hands, gently caressing her cheeks. Without another thought, he dipped his head down and was kissing her.

Joey's lips were every bit as soft and smooth as they looked, Rachel was all warmth and sweetness. Then she pulled back, staring into his deep brown eyes and for a moment, Joey didn't know if she was going to kiss him back or slap him across the face.

She kissed him back, more hungrily and passionately than she thought possible. His kiss had been quite tender. She rose to her feet, taking him by the hand. "Come on."

Somehow, they got back to her room. Rachel couldn't remember how, since it seemed that he wouldn't stop kissing her, but he stopped once they got inside. "Is this your room?" he whispered.

"Uh hunh," she murmured, trying not to tear her body away from him.

Joey was getting dizzy from this girls' heat, her frenzied kisses. "Jennifer...Jennifer," he pulled her head back, stroking her hair with one hand and pulling her closer with the other arm. "Now baby, I'm not gonna deny how bad I want you right now, but more than that, I don't want to hurt you, or make you do anything you don't feel comfortable with. So just tell me now, do you want me to leave?"

"No Matt, I want you to stay. Please?" Rachel kept kissing him, all over his face, those luscious lips. She hadn't really thought when she led him back to her room. She hadn't even realized she was doing it. And now, she let her body and her heart make her final decision, since her brain didn't seem to work. "Look, Matt, I want you to make love to me." 

This time, Joey really pulled back, surprised. He'd had sex with plenty of girls, but he couldn't say he'd ever made love to any of them, much less been asked. But looking down at her, he knew he would never get a chance to be with a girl like this again, ever. And maybe, he even loved her just a little bit, enough to want to make love to her.

He didn't waste another minute. He pulled her up to him, kissing her, lifting her feet off the floor. Rachel kicked her shoes off, and arched her back against his arms, offering more of herself to him. she was ready, she knew it, and she wanted him tonight, she loved him tonight, even if the morning did take him away from her.

He was supporting her from her rump now, making it so her legs were wrapped around his waist, and he went and carefully laid her down on the bed, kicking off his shoes and socks. Kissing each other was like breathing, and just like Rachel couldn't remember how they got back to her room, she didn't know how she ended up nearly naked, but her bra was coming off, and he was lazily nibbling across her collar bone down, to the rosy peaks of her breasts. He was still in his jeans, though his shirt had come off and the rough patches of hair on his chest felt coarse against her creamy skin.

With a groan, Joey felt her flip him over. Now she was kissing his body, down his neck, across his chest. When she ran her tongue across his nipples, his whole body felt electric. She continued kissing down his stomach, tugging at the waist of his jeans. Realizing where she was going, Joey pulled her up by her shoulders, and kissed her again on the mouth. "No," he said, not really believing what he was doing. It was weird, he respected this girl more than any other he had been with, even though they barely knew each other.

Rachel was a little confused. Chip always liked it when she went down on him, but she didn't have time to think about it any more, because Joey was softly kissing her thighs. With a little moan, she parted her legs for him a little, as he lifted her rear to slide off her thong, leaving her completely naked. Now Rachel blushed a little. In anticipation of tonight, she had gone with her roommate to get a Brazilian bikini wax. She didn't know how he would react to it, but after she saw the look on his face, she smiled down at him.

Keeping his eyes locked on hers, Joey kissed the smooth skin of her female place, and then licked at her velvety folds, eliciting a purr from deep in her throat. Finding the rosebud that received her pleasure, he lightly grazed it with his teeth, then closed his lips around it to suckle gently. It wasn't soon before she climaxed and Joey touched her with his little finger, delving only to the knuckle. "Damn, baby, you're so tight," he said, almost under his breath.

Rachel knew she had to speak up. "Um, Matt?"

"Hmm?"

"I just, uh, think you should know, that this is my first time." Joey looked at her in surprise. "I want to, though, I really do."

Joey swallowed hard, and laid down beside her, making a conscious effort not to touch any part of her body while he spoke. "Are you sure? This is a big deal, Jennifer, and I don't want you to be sorry. I want you more than anything right now, and I'm honored, trust me, but...well, do you trust me?" The way she kissed him was enough of an answer.

They made love slowly, and her smallness overwhelmed Joey as he began to enter her. Forcing himself to be gentle, he listened carefully to her every breath, always looking her in the eye for any sign of fear or discomfort. But she only cried out a little when he broke her barrier, and he was immediately showering her face with kisses of apology, and actually stopped to let her get used to his size inside of her, stretching and filling her. "I'm okay, don't stop," she whispered shakily, and he began to rock against her, so slowly at first, until she began to rise her hips off the bed to meet his powerful thrust, and when they came to the end together, waves and waves of pleasure, Joey was almost afraid to let her go. He held her for what seemed like forever, rolling her on top of him and stroking her back until he heard her light, even breathing.

Joey couldn't sleep. The sky was getting lighter and he knew it would be morning soon, which meant he'd have to leave her. He didn't expect to see her again. She was too perfect for him, and the worst thing he could do was mess that up for her. But it was so hard to let her go, with the scent of her hanging in the air, driving him crazy. When pink light filtered through the windows, he knew he had to get up. He tried very carefully not to wake her, but it didn't work.

"Matt?" she said groggily, propping herself up on one arm. Her silver Tiffany's necklace was gleaming in the light, and Joey knew that it was all she wore beneath the sheets. That thought was enough to make him want to lock her door and keep them both prisoners in her dorm room forever, but instead, he just knelt by the bed and kissed her deeply.

"I have to go now, Jennifer. I want to thank you. Last night, was one of the best nights of my life." Joey couldn't believe how emotional he was getting.

"So I guess this is good-bye," Rachel looked a little sad. "Well, I'll never be sorry, Matt. And I'll never forget you."

Joey touched her lovely face. "Ditto." He slipped his gold confirmation ring off his right hand. It had a picture of St. Joseph on it. "Here, I want you to take this. If you're ever sad, or lonely, just look at it, and you'll know that someone loved you once."

Rachel's eyes widened. "Oh Matt." With trembling hands, she took the ring in her hands; it was much too large to fit any of her fingers. "Thank you, so much. I wish I had something to give to you..."

Joey put his fingers to her lips, and smiled. "You already did. You gave me the best, most precious gift anyone ever has." And with that, he kissed her on the forehead, and walked out of the room, out of her life.

Rachel lay back in bed staring at the doorway he had just walked out of, and twirling his ring between her fingers. She would never find another guy like him. And she would never try to. He was her once in a lifetime.

* * *

__

Five years later

"Guys, this is my friend, Rachel. She went to high school with Ross and I." Joey looked up from his coffee, and his jaw dropped at the dripping wet bride in front of him. Those blue eyes, that lovely face- she looked exactly like the girl he had carried in his memory for five years- exactly like her. Exactly like Jennifer. "Rachel, this is everyone. Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey." Rachel in turn shook everyone's hand, her jaw dropping when she came to the second man. Those warm brown eyes, that soft mouth- he looked exactly like Matt.

"I'm sorry, what did you say your name was?" he couldn't help but ask.

"I'm Rachel, and you are?"

"Joey." They exchanged a smile, both much more disappointed than either thought they would be.

_I guess some things happen only once in a lifetime._

* * *

"Wow," Phoebe and Monica said in unison. Rachel had just finished her story, a dreamy smile on her lips.

"Did you keep that ring?" Monica asked.

"Of course I did. I wore it for years on a chain around my neck. And I even put it in my purse the day I was supposed to marry Barry. I remember looking at it right before I slid out the window. It helped give me courage to jump."

Phoebe laughed all of a sudden, and Monica and Rachel gave her a look that said _What the hell are you laughing about?_

"Sorry," Phoebe apologized. "I just never realized how funny that sounds- _marry Barry_. So, was this guy cute? What did he look like?"

"Mm hmm," Rachel nodded emphatically. "He had that dark Italian look, kind of like Joey does, you know?"

Phoebe nodded in agreement. Just at that moment, the guys barged through the door, wearing and carrying all kinds of Knicks paraphernalia. They all called out their greetings, and the guys instantly raided the fridge.

"Didn't you guys just go out to eat?" Monica asked, sounding annoyed. They proceeded to ignore her, but her brother accidentally knocked over the ketchup, making Monica wince. Before she could say anything, however, Chandler was already cleaning up the mess with a sponge. He exchanged a look with his wife and she smiled her thanks.

"So, Rach, did you ever think about seeing him again?" Monica turned back to the conversation with her girlfriends.

"Oh sure," Rachel just couldn't stop smiling. "But, it just seemed that our time together was so special, so perfect...I don't think either one of us wanted to mess that up. Besides, how would I ever get in touch with him?"

"Well, didn't you say that one of your sorority sisters went out with his friend?" asked Phoebe.

"Yeah, Melanie Stanza," Rachel shrugged. "I heard she actually married him. Vinny DeMarco was his name, I think."

"Vinny DeMarco?" Joey spoke up from the kitchen, his mouth full of sandwich. "He was like, one of my best friends growing up in Queens. How do you know him?"

"Um, I don't," Rachel chose her words very carefully. She had once told Ross about Matt, when the subject of past lovers came up, and he hadn't quite enjoyed her telling. Rachel told him he was crazy to be jealous of a one-night stand that happened six years ago, but even as she said it, she knew he was more than that. "I was just saying I heard he married one of my sorority sisters."

"Oh yeah, Melanie, we all grew up together," Joey smiled.

"Well, then you must have known Matt, too," Monica said smugly.

"Monica!" Rachel pinched her thigh, making a 'shush' gesture.

"Matt? No, I don't remember any guy named Matt. Matt who?" Joey shook his head, and stroked his chin, as if deep in thought.

"Who's Matt?" Ross fairly snarled. "Matt? The incomparable Matt?" 

"Yes Ross, I'm so _sorry _I was telling my friends a story that happened over ten years ago. God, you can never let anything go," Rachel snapped.

"Well maybe I didn't like being compared to your one-night stand for two years!" Ross replied.

The tension in the room was thick, and everyone listened intently to Ross and Rachel's argument. Everyone except Joey.

"Wait a minute, you guys, just stop!" Joey yelled, everyone looking at him in surprise. "Now, Rach, you went to college with Melanie Stanza, now Melanie DeMarco. From Queens, right?" Rachel nodded. "So, you went to Wagner, then right?" Rachel nodded again, not really following him.

Joey took a deep breath before he continued. "And you lost your virginity to a guy named Matt, no last name?"

Before Rachel could answer, Ross snapped, "Yes! What's your point, Joey?"

Joey threw him an absolutely murderous look that shut Ross up right away. "Wait," Monica said. "Joey, how did you know Rachel lost her virginity to him?" Rachel gasped, and covered her mouth with her hands, as she finally grasped what Joey was getting at.

She looked back at him; he was staring at her intently. Those eyes, those lips. "Oh my God. Joey. Matt."

He looked into her eyes, the bluest eyes he'd ever seen. "Jennifer."

The door slammed. They all looked up in surprise, just catching a glimpse of Ross as he stormed out of the room. Everyone looked around uncomfortably for a moment, then Phoebe rose. "I'd better go talk to him," and she left the room, signaling to Monica with her eyes.

"Oh yeah, and Chandler, I need to show you something in, uh, our bedroom," Monica jerked her head in the direction of their room.

"Right now, why?" Chandler looked at his wife, confused. It took him a second before it hit him, and he scrambled after her into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

Rachel and Joey looked at each other awkwardly for a moment. "Um, maybe I should go," Joey stammered, getting up to leave. This was too confusing for him. Jennifer had been the girl he had lain awake and dreamed about his whole life, shed a tear about when he was lonely, ached for at night. But Rachel, well, she was his best friend- a smart, sexy, confident woman he had always considered way out of his league.

"Joey wait." He turned back around and she was standing in front of him. She lightly touched his chest, as if she couldn't believe he was real. This was Joey, after all. Her best friend, adorable, funny Joey. But he was also Matt, her once in a lifetime.

And then she was in his arms and he was kissing her, and it felt like she had never left, so natural was the chemistry between them.

Until he broke away from her, his eyes a mixture of anguish and joy, triumph and fear. He was out of the door, before she could say anything, and she crumpled against it, in tears. What had she done?

Joey found himself standing in the hallway, scarcely able to catch his breath. What had he done?


End file.
